Any Time Now - passed 37 weeks

So, I'm still pregnant. I really have no idea what to expect this time since there was no real way to determine an exact due date. They determined based on Toby's brain measurements and size back at 18 weeks. But, a good friend of mine had a baby a couple of days ago and they told her like 2 or 3 weeks ago that he was 8.5 pounds and had her a little worried. When we was born, I think he was 7lbs., 11 ozs. It makes me wonder really how much they can tell with an ultrasound, or how much is speculation. So based on all of that and the fact that I have not made it to my due date with either Ayden or Levi, I am ready.
I am so ready that I even have my bag packed (third time's a charm!) and Toby's carseat is in the car already. I started packing my bag before my water broke with Levi, but since Ayden was 2 weeks early, I hadn't even begun when my water broke with him. (Shawn, I think I deserve an apology - he didn't believe that I would actually come through this time either).

The one thing that I never know if I am ready for is the how the change effects the older kids. I was concerned about Ayden when Levi was born b/c for over two years he was the only one on either side of the family. This time, I really am not worried about Ayden at all. He is so resiliant and is so excited about Toby....and I can reason with Ayden, even at 3. I really think he is going to be a great big brother to an infant, a huge help and very patient. Levi, on the other hand, is still a baby. I pray that he gets it...I know he understands that something is going to happen. He is constantly lifting up my shirt and asking, "wha dat?" He pokes me in the belly button and then we talk about baby brother and how Levi is going to be a big brother. He smiles and giggles and I'll ask him where baby Toby is. Sometimes he will point at my belly. But if you have been around him for any length of time, you will know how much of a momma's boy he is. Last night I had to run to the grocery store for just a couple of things - I was only gone for like 15 minutes, and when he saw me grab my keys, he wailed. Not that we could change a thing, but I just really hope that he doesn't resent his little brother and also that I don't live with guilt about it. I tend to hold onto things and take responsibility for things that I can't control. I'm definitely still a work in progress.

With any major change, I guess there will always be time for adjustment. Saying that, we have decided (with the advice of someone that I love and admire a ton - thanks Andrea) to back off on the potty training. We are finding out that Ayden just really isn't completely ready. He'll let us know. And, since I'm not sending him to preschool we have time to let him be ready. So the thing that I promised myself wouldn't happen is going to happen (that ought to teach me never to make promises!) - three in diapers. YIKES! God will provide!

Today, Shawn is working, just like every Saturday. Levi is sick with a very runny nose and fever that cousin Mia passed along...I'm sure we will infect her many times over the years if we haven't already! That's what cousins are for! I guess I am still nesting - there's a lot that I want to do and can't, but there's always laundry and cleaning up the kitchen and vacuuming the house, and you get the idea. I think that the change of season (cooler weather) and the fact that I will be able to move again will give me a much needed renewal, even if I'm not able to get as much sleep. So, I don't really know what I am doing today.

Well I guess that's enough rambling for the moment. I guess I just kept going b/c I haven't heard even a peep from the boys...I'm shocked and yet delighted that they are still sleeping. Hmmmm...what can I get done now? Oops, I spoke too soon. I hear them, and the day begins!